Big Boys Need Loving Too: The Best Float for the 300lb+ Kings Who Want to Stay Above Water This Summer

joeybeagen
Apr 7
2 min read

Let’s be real: not all pool floats are created equal. If you’re a big guy trying to enjoy the pool, ocean, or lake, you’ve probably experienced one of the following:

The float that slowly sinks as you try to relax
The inflatable that gives up halfway through the summer
The “XL” raft that still feels like it’s judging you

We’ve been there—and we’ve had enough.

This summer, it’s time to float with confidence. Whether you're 250, 300, or 350+ pounds of pure summer royalty, there's a float that won’t deflate your vibe.

Meet Your New Favorite Float: The Hexnoodle by Floattilla

The Hexnoodle isn’t just a reimagined pool noodle—it’s the float big guys have been waiting for.

Built with a high-performance buoyant foam core, wrapped in a luxe, soft-touch cover that doesn’t get slimy or hot, this bad boy doesn’t need inflation and won’t leave you half-sunk or waterlogged halfway through the afternoon.

Why It Works for Bigger Bodies:

Ultra-buoyant core: Designed to support weight comfortably without dipping or sagging
No air = no leaks: You’ll never have to worry about a deflation situation mid-float
Stability meets comfort: The hexagonal design adds balance and surface area where it counts
Great for straddling, leaning, or floating upright—however you like to chill

Whether you’re holding a drink, talking with friends, or just letting the sun do its thing, the Hexnoodle stays strong. It's the real deal.

Who's it for?

Dads who want to chill with their kids without capsizing
Guys who love a cold beer and some warm sun
Anyone tired of being left out of the floating fun

Bonus: It Looks Good, Too

This isn’t a unicorn or a flamingo (unless that’s your thing—we respect that). The Hexnoodle comes in a clean, modern design with low-key luxury vibes. It's the kind of float that says: "Yeah, I came to relax. And I look good doing it."

Ready to Float Like a King?

This summer, you deserve more than a float that “sort of” works. You deserve a pool companion that holds you up—literally and metaphorically.

Get your Hexnoodle now →Trust us—your back, your pride, and your float game will thank you.

Want a follow-up post with multiple big-guy-approved floats or customer reviews from real 300lb+ floaters? Just say the word.